Koda's Will to do what he wants

Koda is still with us... he's generally in good spirits, gives us ever-so-subtle tail wags, and comes to full alert when I tell him there's a kitty outside. Some highlights of the past week:

Koda surprised us one night by coming up the stairs all by himself! Unsupervised! He maneuvered around the blockade we'd set up at the foot of the stairs. P was in his office and I was in the shower. When I came out to the hallway, there he was. We didn't think he could make it up the stairs anymore. He proved us wrong. However, since neither of us witnessed the feat, we don't know how difficult it was for him. But he must have really really wanted to sleep up in the master bedroom like he used to, so he hauled himself up the stairs. He was so proud of himself.

Koda completely relaxed on the sleeping bag at Camp Koda.

Meat Smoothies! - Koda still has a good appetite, however I think the various chunks of meat and veggies in his food are discouraging him from eating. I'm not sure if swallowing hurts, or if he just can't be bothered to chew. So I pulled out my hand blender (immersion blender) to whip up a true meat & veggie smoothie for him. The new consistency was much more palatable for him and meal time isn't such a frustrating ordeal. He's been getting up and moving to different locations while I'm trying to feed him - as much as 5 times during one feeding. So I'm following him around with a sloshy bowl of raw food and a spoon and begging him to eat a few bitefuls before he gets up and relocates.

The only problem (inconvenience) with the blending is that the immersion blender is dreadful to clean afterward. Not only is it slimy and greasy from the meat, there's stringy tendon wound around the blade shaft that has to be cut away with a knife to remove. Slimy, greasy mess. Mind you, I hate touching raw meat. I don't even touch raw meat for our own meals. (Thank you Trader Joe's for conveniently packaged meat.)

Medicine time - Perry and I have gotten the routine down pat - so we thought. Yogurt... hold... yogurt... medicine syringe... yogurt... intermission... and a willing Koda returns when we call. This past week, Koda was squirrely for some reason. He figured out a way to weasel out of P's hold by moving his body sideways and ducking his head back towards P's armpit. We had one messy day of syringe med administration. I wouldn't call it struggling, but more ducking out of the situation.

I think it's becoming a "game" of who can outwit whom - Koda vs. Us. I had to improvise and get creative. So now I sit balanced on my tailbone, still facing Koda, holding him still between my bent knees. P is kneeling squarely behind Koda preventing him from backing out, and holding his head still. Between me and P, we have him in a full-body hug, so to speak. So far, this new "hold" is working and we've had uneventful syringe med sessions. Followed by Haagen Dazs, of course.

Other than these things, we feel like we are at some plateau with Koda. He's not declining rapidly, but obviously not getting better. He's a little shakier on his legs and his breathing is worsening - quick shallow breaths and raspy at times, with an occasional cough. On Tuesday (8/16), it will be 5 weeks since his cancer diagnosis.

It's been so long since Koda has been completely healthy. From when he started to become lame in 2009, to his surgeries in spring of 2010, to the recovery time from those surgeries, and now this cancer - it seems like we've been losing Koda for the past 2 years. When I see other energetic dogs playing, I remember Koda when he was full of vigor and health and feel like we've been dealing with illness and recovery for such a long, long time. It's exhausting.