Since the last blog post on Tuesday, things have drastically turned for the worse. On Wednesday, Koda started to have a lot more trouble breathing... and by Thursday afternoon, seeing him struggle for each breath - with the sound of mucus congestion in his lungs - has become more and more unbearable. Unbearable to know he is suffering. Unbearable to watch his heaving body and listen to his raspy breaths.
I spoke with the specialty vet who is overseeing Koda's hospice care and he told me what I didn't want to hear, what I was afraid to hear. Koda has days to a week left... but he could also suddenly go into respiratory arrest and suffocate to death. Knowing firsthand how Koda is doing, I have to ask myself, "What is Koda's quality of life now?"
I know the answer.
I spent most of Thursday dealing of other household crises, while continuously bursting in to tears. I told Perry my decision and he agreed. With a fractured heart, I have made the hardest decision of my life. And this weekend, we will be enduring unspeakable pain while we say our goodbyes to Koda.
Thank you for reading, caring and for your support. I don't know how life will be without Koda... he's such a huge part of my life...
